I am 19 years old right now and I am turning 20 in less than two months. Between getting my studies done, getting a good amount of sleep and exercise, and having intellectual conversations everyday, I feel that I am ready to move on to a new phase in my life.
Yes, the 20's will be upon me soon. However, the act of turning 20 this June 15th offers no actual life changes. Then, two months later, I'll make my epic 30 minute drive back to College Park, or hedonism-ville for four nights of drinking before classes start again.
In other words, I am a 19-year-old sophomore and I feel like I have outgrown college. There are several things I still love to do, like go out, play guitar, and be irresponsible. On the other hand, I dont go out and drink at parties, I'm over the prospect of skipping classes to sleep in, and I dont make stupid short-lived and artificial friendships. I feel ready to take on some real responsibility and take a 9-5 job, settle into an apartment with some friends, and find a legit girlfriend.
At the same time, the post-college life is apparently supposed to be a buzzkill following the previous four years of hedonism. It means you have to pay income taxes, the rent, the electricity bill, work at least 40 hours a week, and make an effort to see family. For this reason, I suppose college is good so you can explore and discover, and have fun.
I guess after writing this I realize that I'm tyring to say I've had a fulfilling childhood and great parents to bring me up, so I'm fuckin ready for the world man. I mean, I'm probably not, but I'm ready to take it on full force in stead of being locked up in this cute bubble where I'm encouraged to wear Abercrombie and talk to hit drunk girls at the bar on Fri nite.
Because I find myself saying this, I almost want to be inmature, but theres no turning back now.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Shit, I'm Sexist
So I went on this awesome 4-mile walk/run with a friend on this secluded trail which wraps around a gorgeous man-made lake. Too bad thats not what this post is about.
Its about how marked our society is with gender stereotypes, and as a result, I am a sexist. Lets get to it.
On this walk/run escapade, my friend and I chatted it up. Somewhere along the conversation I brought up this insight I had made during the previous week. The insight was that I thought I discovered a defining strength of women. In short, the insight noted that women are good at listening and direct communication.
As I began describing the instance which led me to these beliefs, my friend, who is a self-proclaimed feminist, was viciously shaking her head and frowning. I didn't even bother to finish explaining because she was clearly offended. Moments later, upon her explanation, I realized everything of what I just had said was really just based on gender stereotypes.
Yeah, the stereotypes that say women are better nurturers and listeners and men are better providers, teachers, and disciplinarians. Now its not like I think that women should be a house-wife, and a house-wife only, but I realized that I am still a sexist.
I think my sexist tendencies come from societies desire to distinguish between men and women, and as a result, we get these ideas that women like to sit and talk with each other, whereas men want to play sports or video games.
This isnt true. Maybe, just maybe, in general these things are true - but to classify men and women this way is making a big mistake. I mean, I am a good listener - I am good with kids - and I could be quite sensitive... so does that make me a women? I realize that these things are just traits or characteristics of human beings, which either sex could have.
The take home message is to take a second and think about what is true about women/men, and what is just a stereotype. As a sophomore college student at a solid university and coming from a place with plenty of diversity, I would think I would know better. But these roles and ideas are so ingrained in our society that sometimes it is hard to recognize what is truth and what is bullshit. So its productive to make these distinctions - that is, making them right.
Besides, I love a women who is assertive. But I thought that only guys were assertive?
Its about how marked our society is with gender stereotypes, and as a result, I am a sexist. Lets get to it.
On this walk/run escapade, my friend and I chatted it up. Somewhere along the conversation I brought up this insight I had made during the previous week. The insight was that I thought I discovered a defining strength of women. In short, the insight noted that women are good at listening and direct communication.
As I began describing the instance which led me to these beliefs, my friend, who is a self-proclaimed feminist, was viciously shaking her head and frowning. I didn't even bother to finish explaining because she was clearly offended. Moments later, upon her explanation, I realized everything of what I just had said was really just based on gender stereotypes.
Yeah, the stereotypes that say women are better nurturers and listeners and men are better providers, teachers, and disciplinarians. Now its not like I think that women should be a house-wife, and a house-wife only, but I realized that I am still a sexist.
I think my sexist tendencies come from societies desire to distinguish between men and women, and as a result, we get these ideas that women like to sit and talk with each other, whereas men want to play sports or video games.
This isnt true. Maybe, just maybe, in general these things are true - but to classify men and women this way is making a big mistake. I mean, I am a good listener - I am good with kids - and I could be quite sensitive... so does that make me a women? I realize that these things are just traits or characteristics of human beings, which either sex could have.
The take home message is to take a second and think about what is true about women/men, and what is just a stereotype. As a sophomore college student at a solid university and coming from a place with plenty of diversity, I would think I would know better. But these roles and ideas are so ingrained in our society that sometimes it is hard to recognize what is truth and what is bullshit. So its productive to make these distinctions - that is, making them right.
Besides, I love a women who is assertive. But I thought that only guys were assertive?
Monday, April 7, 2008
Ego vs. Self-Esteem
Awesome! I just made the winning shot in the final seconds to win my recreational basketball game. If pandemonium had a sound, then I could hear it from the hysterical parents on the bench and my teammates at the front-court all screaming positive feedback my way like "great job!", "yeah Ken!", and "you're the bomb!"
After these sensational seconds, I walk away from this experience with a flow of internal happiness. Surely over the next few days or even hours, this euphoric feeling will fade. Although in the long-term, will making the most crucial shot of the game truly do anything for me? Will my ego fly sky-high because I was the one to seal the deal? Or, did I just experience a boost in self-confidence and in self-esteem? Where do we draw the line between these two categories - how do we distinguish between a short-lived ego boost and a true rising in self-esteem?... knowing that raising your self-esteem beats pumping your ego any day.
This is a question I have internally debated ever since discovering the difference between these two things recently. It is a vital question to answer given that raising self-esteem is taking a step towards self-actualization and long-lived happiness. As for those ego boosts... lets try to set them aside.
Any thoughts on how to truly raise self-esteem? Well I hear that self-destruction = self-improvement because you are destroying your ego, but just how can we achieve this?
After these sensational seconds, I walk away from this experience with a flow of internal happiness. Surely over the next few days or even hours, this euphoric feeling will fade. Although in the long-term, will making the most crucial shot of the game truly do anything for me? Will my ego fly sky-high because I was the one to seal the deal? Or, did I just experience a boost in self-confidence and in self-esteem? Where do we draw the line between these two categories - how do we distinguish between a short-lived ego boost and a true rising in self-esteem?... knowing that raising your self-esteem beats pumping your ego any day.
This is a question I have internally debated ever since discovering the difference between these two things recently. It is a vital question to answer given that raising self-esteem is taking a step towards self-actualization and long-lived happiness. As for those ego boosts... lets try to set them aside.
Any thoughts on how to truly raise self-esteem? Well I hear that self-destruction = self-improvement because you are destroying your ego, but just how can we achieve this?
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