Alpha vs. Beta: Are we one, the other, or both?

To shortchange the classification of any male, you could place him into the category of either alpha or beta.

Now labels are not the best way to go. We all have seen the tremendous social pressure and antagonism exerted in high school through the labeling of other people. Our society has seen racism and discrimination from the labeling of other people. When we do not bother to consider the indiosyncracies of those within a cohort, we develop stereotypes - the wrong thing to do. But for the purpose of this entry, all males are either alpha or beta...

...or are they?

An alpha male smiles, is confident, well-groomed, connects with people, has a good sense of humor, and is seen as the social center of a room. Now after reading this list, anyone would think these traits are something to aspire to. However, the intangible aspect of the alpha male is that he is purely dominant. He has a strong frame, he doesnt give a fuck, and he is unreactive.

This is where my view towards the alpha male becomes sticky. I mean, yeah, being dominant implies having high self-esteem and being a leader. However with any good thing comes fallbacks. He is inconsiderate, loud, and sometimes aggressive. He must be on top. He must not show weakness often.

Having these traits means violating rules of social conduct. It could translate into being seen as obnoxious. It could translate into being insecure because you must be the center of attention. It could be seen as a lack of social intelligence period. This is where having beta traits like being agreeable, cooperative, and sensitive do not seem so bad. Now when we reach beta traits like being submissive and supplicative then it is flat out weak. But perhaps being beta, in moderation, is healthy. On the same token, perhaps being alpha, in moderation, is also healthy.

However, this defies the aforementioned law that you are either alpha or beta. This law is up to different interpretations, although in a social gathering for example one could say the real men stand out from the rest.

The italicized portion leads me to more deliberation. Are these alpha behaviors just evolutionary circuitry which enable us to attract women? Because it is known that women are to alpha males. Or are they just attracted to the status of the male? or the value? Regardless, perhaps these alpha behaviors are just wired in us men as a positive evolutionary trait. However, while living in a today's world, driven by bundles of underlying social norms and expectations, can we really expect to maintain our inner-alpha-ness, all the time?

Perhaps it is ok to be both alpha or beta for the sake of calibrating certain behaviors to certain situations. Isnt a real man someone who knows how to handle himself in all types of situations, where he can be both alpha or beta?

But I thought you are either one, or the other?